Today was a good day. Nothing really to go in huge detail about. I didn't make it to DBT Group today because there was a huge wreck on the highway that shutdown 85 South. So, I kinda just hung out today. My friend came by and it just reminded me of how much I have changed since James-how much I have changed since July.
I hate that for some reason July seems to be one of those redefining moments in my life because it is definitely something I am not very proud of. But, it really gave me the opportunity because I was at such a raw state to really change my life around and I don't think I would have ever been given that opportunity otherwise. Or maybe I wouldn't have been as willing to make the needed changes.
-I no longer use sex as a coping skill or way to make me feel good about myself
-I no longer pick up smoking cigarettes when life throws in it's punches
-I don't fall back into hardly any of my old negative patterns
-I have been taking on more responsibilities like cleaning the house and feeding/watering/walking the dog
-I don't pop a pill when life gets rough during the day because I have skills
-I am not as co-dependent on friends/parents/boyfriends
-I now have walls guarding my heart and I am not falling in love with the first fish that bites.
If you are a person dealing with any of these issues or know a friend or family member that is-know it is really hard to make these changes. Sometimes you don't even know that you need to until something happens and it really does change your view on life. I wish I could say it was easier or it has been easy-but the truth is I have had to learn on my own the hard way-but I am so glad I did.
I'll keep you posted
The Flying Fish
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